


I can sleep forever these days, cause in my dreams I see you again

by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: AU, Angst, M/M, Survivors Guilt, i can't write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 08:45:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No credit is mine. The title is an extract from the song Signs by Bloc Party which you should all go checkout. Characters, setting aren't mine. This is basically an AU where Kaidan does the thing with the crucible and Shepard survives. It's my first time writing in ages. So many ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can sleep forever these days, cause in my dreams I see you again

My name is Commander Shepard. People say I saved the universe. This can't be true. I'm struggling just to save myself. To stop myself from fracturing into tiny peices. How they must laugh. All those who tried to stop me. I stopped them, but at too high a price. 

At the Crucible, Kaidan Alenko, the bravest man I've ever met, and my lover gave my life to save the universe. To save me. 

The downed transport came crashing down. I couldn't continue, and I will always hate myself for that. My leg wouldn't work and my lover came to my side. "Stop" he said. "I'll do it. I'll go on." When I tried to protest, he looked me in the eye. I could see his determination, see what he knew he had to do. He kissed me, long and hard, never coming up for air. Some people fell in love slowly, but me and Kaidan were like a hurricane, destroying everything in our passion. It was all-encompassing, consuming and we were caught up in it.

 

He presses his fingers to my head and whispers, "Know that I love you. Always" I whisper as e runs, "Always". I don't know whether he heard me, but he turns and faces me. The crackling light of his biotics contrast with the beams. I stand transfixed as the shockwave from the crucible ripples out. The structure collapses and I watch my love disappear under the rubble. No one could survive that, but I hope that he could. 

He survived so much. Brain Camp, the reapers , Virmire, it seems cruel to die now. I sit next to his grave, trying to move on with my life, but unwilling to forget him. I won't. He wouldn't. Flashes come back, bodies entwined, wrapped around each other like vines. I won't forget him.

I watch old videos we took, of cooking, talking, kissing. I remember how they tried to blame him for the destruction of the Geth. The look on Jokers face. The news comes on, and I don't watch it until I read the headlines. A survivor is found in the rubble. I lift my head and whisper, "Kaidan", as the man in the screen's eyes open.


End file.
